“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” Dalai Lama

INTRODUCTION

Sensing the yearning and responding

I began this blog in the midst of lockdown in April 2020. I had just read That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief, an excellent piece written by Scott Berinato drawing on the work of grief expert, David Kessler, that appeared in Harvard Business Review 23 March 2020. As I listened to the words of family, friends, children and adults, I realised that in addition to our grief there is also a yearning, and I am more convinced than ever that the yearning we are feeling is for love. While that yearning has been there before this pandemic our need for love is even greater now.

The coronavirus pandemic has reminded us that we are all part of a common humanity and that we have a shared responsibility to take care of ourselves, each other, and our planet we call home. We have been given pause to consider what is most important in life and have rediscovered our human need for connection and community, love and compassion, and belonging.

Covid-19 has been and continues to be devastating for our world. We have suffered the loss of loved ones, treasured authors, musicians, actors and others, and healthcare and essential workers who have sacrificed their lives for us. We have seen the inequity of our social, economic, educational, political and healthcare systems, and the need for them to serve everyone in our diverse global community. And we have seen the need to address climate change and care for the environment. At the same time it has brought out some of the best of our humanity.

I live in Lucca, Italy and as you know Italy was the second country hardest hit by Covid-19 at the onset. While it has been devastating, the love and kindness shown has been heartening. During this crisis I have fallen in love with Italy all over again; I love her caring and compassion, her solidarity and most of all her humanity. We remember such beautiful expressions of love that lifted our spirits; people singing and playing music from their balconies, clapping for our frontline healthcare and essential workers, and the now well-known rainbows telling us “Andrà tutto bene. Everything will be all right.”

Around the world we have seen similar gestures, and heard about countless acts of kindness between neighbours and between strangers as people have reached out to one another, and volunteers delivered food and made masks. Andrea Bocelli gave us Music For Hope from the Duomo in Milan, and Lady Gaga, WHO and Global Citizen along with musicians from around the world sent a ‘love letter to the world’ with the One World: Together at Home concert on 18 April 2020.

On the news we have listened to the heartache of doctors and nurses who yearned to hold their own children and family members, and were in quarantine as they tirelessly cared for ours. We saw the elderly living alone who were hungry for human contact and connection when emergency workers delivered food to their homes and stopped to engage in conversation. And we experienced our own yearning for social and physical contact with our family, friends and loved ones.

As educational colleagues we engaged with each other offering free resources and webinars and sharing ideas, struggles and practice as educators made the transition to online learning. Perhaps most importantly we supported each other emotionally through this difficult time.

Love in the mainstream

Throughout the months of lockdown and as we are emerging I have repeatedly heard and seen the word love used more in mainstream conversations. Describing the attributes he sees in Dr Fauci in his article, The 7 Principles of Faucian Leadership, William F Meehan III includes compassion and love (Forbes, 30 April 2020). Following the death of George Floyd and the subsequent protests around the world people are speaking of their desire to live without fear, but with equality and dignity, with love over hate. In an interview with Christiane Amanpour, US Houston Police Chief, Art Acevedo, said, “The only thing that will happen to overcome hate is love, and love and engagement. Let’s engage and do what we can control, which is our own actions, our own heart….” We have heard many world leaders, community leaders and celebrities speak with love and compassion and urge us to take care of ourselves, and one another.

The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm (1956) had a profound impact on my thinking and understanding of love. What remained with me is that love is an art that needs to be learned and practised, and that love is a choice. I also think of love as a skill that can and should be taught and developed.

One of the books that had a great impact on my life at the beginning of my own personal journey of self-learning was Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D. Love and fear cannot coexist. “Love is the total absence of fear. Love, then, is letting go of fear.” He teaches us that we can choose love instead of fear, peace instead of conflict, which is hugely helpful during this time of Covid-19, particularly as we need to be there for ourselves, our families, friends and colleagues, and as educators, most importantly, for our students and their families.

We have seen the enormous amount of love educators have for their students as they have worked tirelessly during this pandemic to ensure their learning and most importantly their wellbeing. We are also well aware of the toll the pandemic has taken on the mental health of children and adults, and in some cases ourselves. Concern for the wellbeing of others is ever more critical if we are to help ensure the physical and emotional health of the people in our communities as we live with Covid-19 in a post lockdown world. It is ever more critical if we are to ensure the mental health and wellbeing of children in our schools

As we begin to come out of lockdown we have a choice about how life can be; we can respond with love or fear. We can retreat with fear to our national borders and familiar groups, or we can take what we have learned about being connected to one another, and strengthen those connections and uplift one another. I envision that we recognise our common humanity and engage with one another from a place of love.

 Teaching and learning for love

In his book, Teachings on Love (2007), Zen Buddhist master, Thich Nhat Hanh, reminds us that all of us need love and all of us need to love. He discusses the four basic elements of true love as loving-kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity (inclusiveness).

I think of love as our high regard for one another and our commitment to another’s wellbeing. It is the highest expression of compassion. Love is expansive. When we love our hearts are enlarged, and we feel the joy and hope we bring to others. In The Forgotten Art of Love (2017) Armin A. Kadeh MD, PhD makes a distinction between love and relationships, and he describes love as “the urge and continuous effort for the happiness and well-being of somebody (or something).”

We do not talk enough about love in our schools and I believe we need to not only talk about love, but to teach for love and about love, and provide opportunities to learn about practise love. What does love look like? What does love feel like? What does love sound like? This is particularly important for children who do not have positive models of loving relationships and who are not learning the self-love and self-care needed to be able to give love to others. Practising love creates a culture of justice and inclusion, where everyone along with their differences is affirmed, valued and thrives.

Human beings have enormous capacity to counteract xenophobia and racism. Recent events worldwide remind us of the need to teach for compassionate, respectful and inclusive human relationships. Teaching and learning for love is an integral part of fostering inclusive human relationships, which is at the heart of developing intercultural understanding

The Golden Rule is a beautifully written children’s book by Ilene Cooper with stunning illustrations by Gabi Swaiatkowska. I love the explanation that, ‘it’s golden because it’s so valuable, and a way of living your life that’s so simple it shines.’ I have included a complete lesson plan based on this book in my book, Teaching and Learning for Intercultural Understanding: Engaging Young Hearts and Minds, which would be a valuable resource as you look for ways to intentionally teach for and about love, human dignity and justice.

Countries around the world are at different stages in their response to this crisis; some still in lockdown, others easing restrictions and others reinstating lockdown in areas as needed. The need to give and receive love could not be greater and will continue to be, as we respond to the uncertainty of a constantly changing landscape and learn how to live with Covid-19.

We do not know what the future holds and in the face of uncertainty love can be a constant. We do not know if we will return to classrooms, continue distance learning or provide a combination of both to meet the needs in our countries and contexts. Teaching and learning for and about love will continue to be critical in the months and years to come and for our future.

I invite you to join us for our Summer Institute on Teaching and Learning for Intercultural Understanding  online 24-25 July 2020 to further develop ways to nurture the disposition and competence of intercultural understanding, and create inclusive school communities. We will explore and develop resources and activities to nurture compassionate and loving human relationships, and explore teaching and learning for love.

We can all, children and adults, help each other to CHOOSE LOVE.

I would like to leave you with this quote by one of my favourite writers.

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou

*The CHOOSE LOVE t-shirt pictured was purchased at the performance of The Jungle at the Playhouse Theatre in London on 13 July 2018. This powerful play depicts the lives of refugees living in the Calais Jungle migrant camp 2015-16. It is a tribute to hope and community in the face of devastation.

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